i can tell she loves me. she let me be with her for 3 almost 4 days straight. she must have gotten tired of me at some point. I just got SO used to her SO fast being the last thing i see at night and the first thing i see in the morning. sleeping wont be the same. eating wont be the same. activities wont be the same. LIVING wont be the same. There is a part of me that never wants to leave. To always be here for her and her mom. I would say i have another side, but my first side killed my other side in an attempt to get its way. haha. she is at school right now and im actually REALLY missing her. last night/this morning was really special. I feel as if though I am about to cry. She isnt here. what if i leave and i leave here for good? as in move out. :( ill cry. My life is changing. I have alot more time now. virtually I can go out ANYTIME. literally. I hope she wants to spend time with me. I mean. pretty much all i want to do. :\ God. What i would do to make her smile. eff. I just remembered. Im also going to miss watching tv with eachother everynight before bed. Ill leave a PURPLE STICKY NOTE [the mac app] for her and try and write her something nice to come home to in the event i am not. I seriously do not feel good. i feel like a child. i want to throw a fit. this morning I did. she laughed and kissed me and called me cute. but last night. last night was like a dream. the nights before too. but she even said last night felt different in a good way. Sometimes me thinks i love her more than she loves me. ahhaha. but in her arms im safe. the way she says my name. it just flows right. We just work together automatically as a team. she could be in one room and I could be in another. she could meow and i would respond with a meow and that kinda locates eachother and says things we dont say at the same time. sounds weird. maybe its just me. but im sitting here. looking at her empty bed. just wishing. wishing she wants to be mine forever. that shell let me love her and let me into that heart of hers.