Loud. Silence.

Is there anybody there? I'm screaming but no one is answering my pathetic cries for help. The world is a awful place from my standpoint. Its easy to be pessimistic. Someone may see a rose and not its thorns; I stare at the thorns, oblivious to the rose. There is so much pressure and my head feels so full. I can't take it you know? It is like more and more just keeps piling on and soon it will just crush me. Do not get me wrong, I have hope. I have reason to try. I have Christine. Is that sad? that only ONE person is keeping me from breaking when I so badly want to just give up? It is just that she is so wonderful and understanding. She cares what happens to me and what I do. If I do not do good on a quiz or something, she is there to say "you'll get it next time!," or when life gets unbearable, she is there, by my side, picking up my slack. ALWAYS there. That is partly why I am so afraid to lose her. I literally do not think I could go on without her. I do not give a fuck if that is sad or pathetic. A big fuck you to anyone who think "oh he does not know what love is, he is only 19". I am young. I get that. But I have more responsibility than some adults. Picture that. Teenager with adult responsibilities. For a mental image its like this: Imagine stuffing a large quantity of something in a small small jar. Too much. Anywho, I could care less who says I am too young to know what love is or what not. Love is being there for someone, no matter if they are up or down. Love is taking the punches when someone hurts you, and not putting it in their face. Love is driving 40 minutes several times a week just to SEE someone. Finally, Love is an adventure, and there is no one I would (or will) rather spend it with.